Dressing like a believer
We often associate modesty with old grannies wearing their old-fashioned frocks, stockings and ‘health’ shoes. But that isn’t what modesty really is. Modesty is a character trait, that is demonstrated through our behaviour and dress. Modesty does not mean that Christian women (in particular) have to be unfashionable or frumpy. Standing out, by choosing not to conform to the worlds standards of immoral and overly sexual dress, gives Christian women the chance to shine and be different.
Although I am not an expert on fashion and style, I have compiled a few guidelines for young Christian girls to use. I believe these tips help me to set a modest and pure example in a world that is marked by short skirts, low cut tops and inappropriate clothing.
Approach fashion differently
I love layers. They are versatile, practical and trendy. Layering can be used either with tights (under shorter skirts and cropped shorts) or with tops (for example, a white tshirt underneath a low cut coloured top). Laying allows girls to remain trendy, but also to cover up in the right places. At times we may see the ‘perfect’ dress, but feel it is too short to be modest. This can be fixed if we wear pretty tights underneath the dress.
Find your personal style
I once read that a good way to be unique with your fashion style, is to identify key elements that represent you. For example, a favourite colour (a few girls I know wear pink all the time!) or an emblem, like a cute cow. I love cows, and I collect socks, shirts and prints that have cows on them. People tend to notice when I wear them, and associate it as my ‘style’. The benefit to having signature style, is that you can stand out in a crowd, without having to wear immodest, low cut, tight or see-through clothing. I want to honour God’s commands to dress modestly and to be wholesome, but that doesn’t mean I must be boring!
I know for a fact that guys prefer girls who dress modestly. Sure, they enjoy the view they get of the girls who show off their bodies, but they definitely do not respect them and wouldn’t consider a long-term relationship with that girl because they just aren’t the quality they’re looking for. I think they subconsciously realize, as well, that good looks never last. So while you may be jealously eying that model’s toned stomach and perfect legs, your guy loves you for your modesty, intelligence and great sense of humor! I’ve asked just about all of my male friends whether they prefer girls in skirts or jeans. Almost unanimously they all say us girls look far better in skirts because it makes us look more feminine. I think women look their best when they embrace their femininity and beauty.
We can look at the trends and what’s ‘in’ style, and pick out certain elements. Christians don’t need to be nerds. Not at all! But we do need to be classy, dignified and above reproach. Wear clothing that flatters you. It doesn’t have to be a shapeless sack, but barely there t-shirts and really low cut jeans with underwear flashing is really not attractive! Dressing in a tarty way, with too much make-up and too tight clothing, does not enhance our beauty. Instead, mini skirts and low cut tops demoralize us and make us vulnerable to abuse and misuse. Is that honestly what you want?
Allure and Mystery through Modesty
I read a book sometime ago called Secret Keeper by Dannah Gresh. The main thing I learnt from her was that we, as females, have a secret power. And that secret power or allure, is modesty. She says, “Modesty is the source of this delicate yet formidable power, making it a power in and of itself. It’s delicate because it can be so innocently given away without your even knowing it. It’s a formidable power, because once you have mastered modesty, no man will be given access to the full secrets behind your allure until you so desire.” Isn’t that amazing? The more we cover, the more enticing we are!
“In Genesis 2, God surveys His fine creation and finds everything just right. He uses the word good. The Gestalt theory teaches a graphic designer to control a viewer’s time by forcing the person to mentally complete a visual image. Because completing the incomplete intrigues the brain, it will always pause to finish an unfinished picture. What does a guy see when a girl walks by him wearing a long, tight skirt with a slit all the way up the sides? He sees past the fabric, because the slit invites him to finish the picture. This is simple visual science.”
Dannah continues, “How do you think this theory works when a girl wearing a tight T-shirt with her belly bared walks down the road past a guy? Yikes! Because he sees an incomplete picture of her body, he is compelled to complete it. The thrill not of what is seen, but is yet to be seen, is what actually tempts him. His imagination kicks in. It’s just how the brain works, especially for guys.”
Do not lead others into tempation
Fact: It is much more tempting for a guy to see a girl dressed in today’s skimpy fashion than it would be to see her naked. Does that astound you? It’s true. A Christian couple I know recently went to France for vacation. At one point this pair unwittingly stayed in a hotel next to the nude beach. The woman was concerned it would be tempting for her husband. It wasn’t. In fact, he was rather grossed out. There was nothing left to the imagination, which is the most tempting part of immodesty.
As Christian men and women, we have been called to a different standard to that of the world’s. God does not want us to lead others into temptation through our dress, speech or mannerisms. Although every woman (and girl) longs for attention and flattery, we need to set our focus on Christ. Only He will fulfil our emotional needs and make us feel truly beautiful and secure. Learn to embrace the biblical standards for modesty and appreciate that you can be attractive and sexy for your husband one day.
As Christian sisters, we must be mindful of our conduct. In church, be careful that your top is not see-through (eg: wearing a black bra under a white shirt) or that your pants are too low (eg: your lacy underwear is peeping out while the boy behind you is trying to worship God). Ask your fellow girlfriends, disciplers and even your parents for guidance with your conduct. We can be friendly, without being flirtatious; pretty without being provocative; modest without being boring!
The Youth Undressed: Modesty from a mom’s perspective
- by Leonora Hammond
HenryVan Til said that 'culture is religion externalized' and by this he meant that the culture of a nation reflects the true faith of that people. It could be said of our individual families that if our daughters (and sons) are dressed immodestly it reflects the faith of our family. This could be quite an indictment against some decent, church going families. And indeed, what does it say about some of our churches and youth groups?
Modesty is not just an issue of how we dress, but more importantly, it is an issue of the heart. We are to train our children in godliness in all areas of life, and this must include clothing. Noah Webster, in the American Dictionary of the English Language says, "Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of the female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honour." In applying 1Timothy 2:9, we must encourage our children to dress their hearts before they dress themselves. What is hanging in our cupboards is a reflection of what is in our heart.
Modesty in our clothing should be synonymous with chastity or purity of manners. A young lady who is concerned to be modest will naturally be just as careful about her manners and speech. Our young ladies in the making are watching us moms carefully. What do they see us wear? What do they see the youth workers or ministers' wives wearing?
May God give us wisdom and guidance in the way we train up the next generation.
By Andre’a Hammond
|
