Even though he was born without arms or legs, Nick Vujicic created a “ridiculously good life.” As Nick grew up, he learned to deal with his disability and started to accomplish more and more on his own. By 19, Nick started to fulfil his dream of encouraging other people with motivational speeches revolving around his life story and the Gospel.
A desire for perfect love
Having gained revelation from God about the purpose of his existence and circumstance, Nick was still worried that he would never find a woman to love him and share his life. Dating disappointments and a failed relationship convinced him that love in the world had its limits and he became doubtful that any woman would want to marry such a flawed man.
When Kanae Miyahara met Nick in 2008 in Texas, she was impressed by his generosity in spirit and good humour. For her, Nick is so handsome, and “the perfect match.” For Nick, “it was electric, when she stood by me, I just felt right.” After courting for a year and being engaged for six months, the couple married, with Kanae giving birth to their beautiful son one day after their first wedding anniversary.
Now with a life that juggles parenting, marriage and ministry, Nick and Kanae have written ‘Love Without Limits’, a book in which they share their journey of love despite scepticism from others about their relationship. This inspiring book describes a godly courtship and the early years of the Vujicics’ marriage and parenting journey. Here is Nick’s introductory extract...
God’s gift of love
“I’ve often written and spoken about the insecurities that dogged me as a child and young man. Because of my lack of limbs, I feared no woman would ever love me or want to marry me. I had many doubts about my fitness as both a husband and father. Frankly, there were people close to me who had their own concerns in that regard. Some thought I would never marry or be able to support a family of my own.
For a long time, it seemed they might be right. I had the usual grade school crushes, but no long-term relationships. By the time I was twenty-seven years old, I’d had some relationships that started out strong but ended sadly. One of them, in particular, was quite serious. At that point, it seemed there were very real limits to the amount of love in this world, at least for me in my quest for a wife. Even though my family and closest friends were there for me, I’d become all but convinced that no woman would want to marry such an obviously imperfect man as me.
Many people think of me as an upbeat, undefeatable person, but when it came to matters of the heart, for a while I struggled to stay positive. I didn’t give myself enough credit, for sure, but even scarier, I didn’t give enough credit to God or to His gift of lasting love between two people. I don’t want you to make that mistake if you’ve struggled as I did while waiting for God to send someone to love you. As you likely know, God brought me an incredible woman whose capacity for loving me astounds me every day.
Love without limits
My wife is physically beautiful, for certain, but you can’t see the half of her true beauty in any photograph. Our perfect God has filled her with His perfect love, and she, in turn, loves me, such an imperfect man! For that reason, I know without a doubt that love has no limits.
Still, to be loved, you must feel worthy of love, and to be worthy of love, you must be willing to make sure you are deserving of this wondrous gift. Here’s the thing that many people fail to grasp: To receive love, you must first give it to someone else. This means, in essence, that you must love someone so much that you will put that person’s needs ahead of your own.
You must give up ‘me’ to create ‘us.’ Once you have abandoned yourself to the love of another, you open the door to a rich and powerful relationship that elevates your life beyond anything you might have imagined.
In our book, we focus on certain aspects of the search for love, the decision to give yourself up to love, the steps toward marriage, getting married, starting a family, and strengthening the bonds between you and your spouse over the years and through the challenges.
The primary messages we want to share are:
- Never give up on love if love is what you want, because God planted that desire in your heart for a purpose.
- You are worthy of love because you are the creation of a loving Father.
- There is someone who could love you and share your life.
- A successful marriage requires reciprocal and unselfish love as well as a shared, deep, and lasting commitment.
- Parenthood will test your marriage. It will also strengthen your bonds of love, but only if you develop deep empathy and unwavering support for each other by putting your family’s welfare above self-interest.
- The ‘work’ of being married is mostly about giving up our naturally self-centered ways and learning day by day to put God first, our family second, and ourselves third.
- Your marriage, your family, and your home should always be a safe, loving, caring, and comforting place - a refuge from the world and all of its challenges.
Grateful for my family
I’ve been travelling around the world since I was nineteen years old, and I had never been so happy to return home as I am now. When I was a single guy returning to an empty house, it was always sort of a let-down to open the door after a long road trip and step into utter silence. Some people are perfectly happy living alone and even thrive being on their own. I respect that, and there is nothing wrong with leading a solitary life if that is what fulfils you. But from the time I was a teenager, I yearned for companionship and a loving relationship.
When you want a loving partner in your life and you don’t have someone, there is an aching void. I’ve heard it said that there is a God-shaped hole in each of us. It’s the place that God fills with His love while we follow His plans for our lives. I was complete and lacking nothing because of my relationship with Jesus, but I still desired strongly to be with someone. At times, I feared that day would never come. And I’d been looking to fill that void for many years before I finally found the love of my life.
The Lord is preparing you for love
For much of my childhood, I could not understand why God brought me into this world without limbs. When I finally realised that He had a purpose for me to serve as an inspiration to others, it gave my life new meaning.
For much of my young adulthood, I could not understand why God had not brought me a woman to love. I grew angry and impatient when relationships ended in heartbreak. What I didn’t know at the time was that my failed relationships offered lessons I needed to learn so that when I met my future wife, I would have a full appreciation and abundant gratitude for the wondrous gift her unconditional love represents.”