"For better or for worse.” Really?
The last couple of months I've been thinking about what it means to stand in front of the church, your husband, your wife & especially God & you utter the words "for better or for worse, till death do us part." Those words actually sound kind of cool when you say it, Heroic even. Let me tell you these are Heroic words, because now days, you need Heroic mature people to get married, Warriors!!
It is just too easy to get divorced & the world has conformed & made it something which is an everyday occurrence, even acceptable to all. Walking away from this particular fight doesn't sound Heroic at all, dare I use the word cowardice.....
Let me give you the definition of a Warrior: One who is engaged aggressively or energetically in an active, cause or conflict. Marriage isn't all happiness, wine and roses. It does take an active energetic effort to get to know each other and grow together. This brings me back to the words "For better or for worse...." I think we all know the "....for better...." side of things, we even have a picture of what it should look like, the movies wanna come & tell you what it looks like. The question is, do you really think about what "...the worse...." means?
- Let's think of an example or two, let’s say you have been happily married for the last couple of months & your spouse is in an accident & that person is paralyzed from the waist down. Will you be able to love and care for that person, for the rest of your life?
- What if, you've been married for 2 years, the one dream you still have is to have children of your own & you find out your spouse can't have any children, will your spouse be enough for you?
- How about this one? Your spouse cheats on you, will you be able to forgive that person, because maybe, just maybe, you weren't doing your part in your marriage.
What would your answer to these 3 examples or questions be? Most people would probably answer "No" and that's because the reasons for them getting married were the wrong reasons.
Can we look at a few wrong reasons for getting married? Yes, come on let's do so....
- It's just time, because I'm getting old & and we've been dating for so long it's just the next step.
- For sex(Lust in other words)
- You want children
- For the money....
I can go on & on....
Here is the simplest answer, LOVE, love should be your reason for getting married, the only reason. Love can overcome ".... the worse...." part. I challenge you go read the following, 1 Corinthians 13, it is short. Don't pull up your nose, because it's from the bible, go read it; I want you to try and comprehend what love is. If you follow Jesus or not go read this. We all need to be loved & also spread the love we do have.
I am all for marriage when it is done for the correct reasons. Marriage is a wonderful gift & like any gift it should be looked after & it will become a huge blessing in your life.
by Lourens de Lange